It is going to rain. Ick. I just got home from picking up my Diflucan prescription. Sari called and told me my Pap results were fine and that everything is normal except she found very slight hints of a yeast infection and wanted me to take the Diflucan since it's just one pill. I'm not surprised given how much time I spend in the pool or in a wet bathing suit. Too bad she couldn't have given me a sample though! At least it isn't a cream thing and now that I've taken it I don't have ot think about it an more.

Since Walmart was right next door I popped in and lucked out and got a red and blue bathing suit that ought to last me long enough to get to the end of the summer along with the blue hawaii print one. It's not a cross back but the straps are adjustable so there's no jiggling around. Hooray. Now I don't have to buy any more until they've worn through or I've lost 3 dress sizes because along with these, there are the ones from several years ago in descending size order -- the purple Speedo, the reversible blue Tyr, the aqua and black tank -- all waiting in the dresser.

• What: Water Aerobics


• Duration: 60 minutes

Laps before class today were really good -- the water temperature was perfect!

Class itself was kind of easy today. Claudia didn't mix things up as much as usual and there were a lot of people in class so I think she kept us more contained than normal because of the lack of elbow room. I don't know how many times I crossed lanes trying to find a spot that was more open. One of the people accidentally kicked me during the side kick segment -- that's how sardined we were.

The new pulley came so when Paul gets up from his nap I have to coax him into changing it out. I haven't done any kind of weights in a little bit and I'm starting to miss it. Excited too -- lost inches in waist, hips and both biceps.

Mixed feelings about my allergist appointment this morning.

• Got scolded for not taking better care of my asthma, but at least it's over with now.
  
• Had to have one of those treatments where you wear a face mask and inhale whatever medicine they've put in that little mist machine, but I did breathe better after.
  
• Have to start weekly shots all over because I quit going and if I hadn't quit I'd be at one shot per month by now, but found out my lung function had gotten to 78% (80% is normal) before so treatment does help a lot.
  
• Have to take my stinky nose spray, but at least my Advair dose is less.
  
• If I participate in their new study, I have to stop TTC for 3 mos, but then again, I get free meds and a lot of free exams.
  

Nnnnrgh. I don't mind doing a lot of things for my health but I really dislike this part of it. I hate having to inhale things, stuff crap up my nose, or be shot. Blah!

This time let's do two at a time...

Progress Prompts:

What comments have you gotten from romantic partners/spouses about your body size? How did you respond? And how did their attitude affect your relationship?

Paul has never been anything but kind and sweet to me. The only thing he ever says about my body are the same -- kind, sweet, sometimes a bit goofy. He's never made me feel anything other thant loved and beautiful from when he met me at 160 lbs to my highest at 230-240 something. From my anxiety attack days to now. From my temper tantrums to my calmer moments -- he's there all the time and he likes me fine.

My head isn't easily turned by compliments, and I remember at the beginning I was a little unsure about how to take it. Paul's very courtly, all off the time. Opens doors, pulls chair, lets me walk into rooms first, doesn't order for me in restaurants but does insist I order first. That's how he was raised to be and it took some getting used to because other people I'd dated weren't quite as diligent about gentlemanly behaviour. At first, I remember I'd get impatient with him, felt like he was fussing around me too much, I'd laugh at him when he'd get perplexed, unsure about how to deal with a problem. It's one thing to open a door for a gal, what do you if she opens it for you? If you spill something on a girl's dress it's nice to give her your jacket, but what do you do when you've come all over her face?

Paul's supportive of my weight loss/fitness efforts and he never makes any comments that would undermine them. He's behind me all the way emotionally. I can't get him to support me physically on a regular basis (ie: come play with me) but every once in a while he does that too. He'll eat anything I've made that's new or experimental provided he doesn't have to finish it if he doesn't like it.

He's an agreeable person, so relationship-wise things flow smoothly. We've had a handful of arguments on only 1 big fight in almost 10 years, so I think we get along very well.

What role did your mother have in your feelings about yourself and your shape? Grandmother? Aunt? What were the older women like as role models for you as a child? What older women are role models for you now?

Other than the fact that my mother made me nuts in high school over my weight, she was a good role model. She wasn't especially fit or into sports, but she did make an effort to eat healthy food long before it was fashionable. We drank water all the time at home and it carries over into my adult life that I rarely want to dirnk anything but water with my meals. I remember her lecturing about how every meal should have some kind of meat for protein, a green vegetable and an orange vegetable, and then some kind of straachy thing -- potato, rice, whatever. She and Dad took a walk almost daily after dinner. It wasn't going to break records for speed, but they did it regularly. Once I got taller than her though, she started to fuss at me about weight because I weighed more than her. It drove me batty and eventually she took me to the doctor and he told her I was fine and to leave me alone. Maybe she just needed reassuring? Because after that she did leave me mostly alone. She never subscribed to women's magazines, and we never paid any attention to the TV. She did play a lot of games with us -- card or board games and once she had us all take a tai chi class. I wasn't allowed to take karate, but Karen was allowed to take ballet so sometimes I think my mother had a bit of a gender-roles thing going but we got the usual bicycles, skates, and swimming lessons so it wasn't that she was anti-activity. It was just certain things I was interested in she deemed too unladylike for me to be allowed to pursue. She wasn't an overbearing mother, and she wasn't one to pick us apart and put us down over appearance. I think she did well.

My paternal grandmother died when I was young and my maternal grandmother and maternal aunts all lived in another country so it wasn't like they were huge influences on me growing up. My paternal aunt were also all spread out in different cities so I don't think that those relatives had much influence. But my maternal grandmother to this day still does tai chi every morning and I think she's in her mid 80's.

I remember one of the jr. high PE teachers was a very fit young woman who everyone swore up and down was a lesbian. I don't know why other than the fact that all of her classes complained about her being too hard. But whether or not she was a lesbian, I didn't think it mattered -- she was very fit and strong looking and she was very fair. I kind of regret now that I never got her as my coach. Althoguh she was kind of scary yelling at her class in the locker room for not making an effort. The men coaches sometimes let their girl students flap about and not do a whole lot buy Miss W. wanted everyone trying their best and didn't let anyone get away with not trying.

I also remember the young woman who was in charge of my advanced beginner's swim class in jr high. She was also very fit and she was very patient about teaching me to swim well enough to pass the test and get my card. I trusted her, and I remember once in the deep end I was supposed to be swimming across and I started to sink and panic a bit and she stood there on the side of the pool watching me. I was on the brink of freaking out and I kept thinking, "Aaaaahhhh! Aaaaahhh! I'm going to drown!" I saw her standing there watching me and then I thought, "Oh, god, is she going to let me drown? Wait a minute, no, she isn't going to let me drown. She's just standing there. I know she's waiting for me to figure this out. If I really drown she's going to pull me out. Ok. So what am I supposed to be figuring out that she thinks I already know?" I stopped flapping about in the water and turned over to float on my back so I could think about this crawl business and figure out how I was supposed to be moving my arms and legs to go forward. Eventually I flipped back over on my stomach and gave it another try and when I got to the end she congratulated me on getting myself out of a problem by staying calm.

I knwo if I stopped to think I'd find other older women, usualyl teachers of some kind that I've had, who I really liked and admired for one reason or another. I don't have too many older women role models these days unless I count Claudia, my water aerobics teacher, as one of them. She's probably my mother's age -- early 50's -- but she looks super buff and she's very energetic. She works us hard and I only wish I was as fit as she is. Then there's my mother-in-law. While she's not especially fit, she has a great attitude -- very independent and spunky. We get along great.

• What: Swimming


• Duration: 30 laps -- forgot to check time

So tired. Swimming was good -- saw some people from water aerobics at the pool. Lots of kids too. But we got there early enough to snag a lane and we got the laps out of the way and then sunbathed a bit. Ross yielded a new purse for Holly but no bras for me. Groceries went pretty smoothly and Holly was pleasantly surprised to find the deli counter guy asking for her number.

• What:Treadmill walk


• Duration: 25 min, 1 mile

Relubing the treadmill wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I did the cleaning and Paul did the lube and adjusting the tracking while I walked. It was weird at first and I almost slipped but I caught the hand rail and after he fiddled with the belt tension there wasn't any more slipping. I think it was just because the lube had just gone on and it wasn't quite spread out. The directions said to walk on it at a slow speed for a while to get the lube to spread out all over the deck so while I was doing that we watched La Cage Aux Foilles 3.

40 minutes... 40 more minutes to wait before I can eat breakfast. Argh. I hate being off schedule with the meds. I want to wake up and eat immediately,. not wake up and wait for an hour after taking Levoxyl before I can eat. So yeah, still sleeping like a log and missing my night meds.

I have to get dressed and then pack a lunch and then go pick up Holly and go to the pool for a laps workout. Been very swimmy this week -- not much on the land cardio or weights front. Still waiting for Bowflex's package so I can replace the weird pulley and Paul swears he will help me tilt the treadmill so we can dust/clean the deck and put the lube down. It's making this squeaky noise and it's not as smooth as it used to be but then it's been more than a year -- high time for a deep down clean and a lube tube. Paul also swears he will help me with my planting but that I can do on my own next week if it comes down to it, the treadmill tilting I prefer he be there for.

35 minutes. Sigh...

One month ago, Dr. H. told me at my check-up that my thyroid values were perfect. That was a first. There'd been some fiddling around with my Levoxyl dose before that. So I was cheered up by this news. Four weeks later, I'm 4 pounds lighter. Ha! Yes! My metabolism is now cooperating with me and my expectations from my food logging are now accurate. Ha! Ha! Ha! On the PCOS front, still no regular periods, but interesting "I might be ovulating" kind of symptoms that weren't there before. We'll see.

While falling asleep last night I was reading The Complete Book of Fitness: Mind, Body, Spirit by Fitness Magazine and Karen Andes. I've picked up many others over the years but that one is always going to be a favorite. Nice reference book, and I've yet to find one I like better. I was checking to see if there is a new edition, but no luck.

What else to eat with yogurt... hrm... fiddling around with Nutridiary.com to see if I like it better than Fitday.com or not. So far, I think it's prettier but dude, it takes forever... That's the one thing with online food logs that drives me apeshit. Dealing with slow server times. Poo.

• What: Water Aerobics


• Duration: 60 minutes

I am beat. And I feel soooo good!

I got to class a bit early and started doing laps. I usually go down in some kind of forward stroke and back in some kind of backstroke. Today? A breast stroke took over my warm-up. I don't know why. Every stroke of the water felt like cutting through butter -- smooth, velvet, fluid, peaceful. Everything workign together like it was supposed to be working. I picked up the pace a bit and got really into it. I was almost sorry to see water aerobics start because I didn't want to stop. Holly suggested that we start weekend laps again now that the weather is warm enough in the morning not to be horrid and I enthusiastically agreed.

Claudia must have been pumped today because she worked us super hard and super fast. No pauses in between blocks -- it was just go, go, go from one thing to the next. I was wondering if it was me or what and I looked at Holly as if saying "Is it me or is this hard today?" and she looked at me and nodded and grunted while Claudia was screaming counts at us making us rocking horse and pendulum ourselves silly. Up and down the pool -- jacks, frogs, leapfrogs, twists, tucks, assoreted kicks in all directions, bicycles, running, swimming, intervals one way, intervals the other way. Did it stop there? Oh, no. Bicep curls, tricep dips, lat raises, chest presses, wrist curls, leg presses singles, leg presses doubles, stretching this way, stretching that way... my mind gets dizzy thinking about it.

But a good workout. Oh, yes!

Why does Hovan never update their site to include nuntrition? Every time I have a sandwich there I am left guessing as to what to put in my food log. And a search for info yields:

aram sandwich

[A-ruhm; EHR-uhm]

A sandwich formed by spreading a softened LAHVOSH with cream cheese, then layering thin slices of sandwich fillings such as meat, cheese, lettuce, pickle and so on. This large flat round is then rolled jelly-roll style, wrapped tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerated for several hours. Before being served, the cylinder is cut into about 1-inch thick slices. The aram sandwich is also known as levant .

While helpful, it still doesn't give me the numbers i need food log wise. Well, I can't mess with it too much more. I'm off to water aerobics.

Napathon -- again! Man! I hope I get my period soon because this sloth feeling has to stop. I was going to go to the gym to try their water aerobics class and I never even got up until midnight. I better start setting an alarm if I am going to nap. I can't trust myself to just wake up whem I'm like this. Crmaps keep bugging me. Feel sore all over from weights... pick that up again tomorrow for lower body and then water aerobics class with Claudia. If I can squeeze it in, a walk too but I don't know how energetic I'm going to feel by then.

Today (wed) I saw the doc for my physical/PAP thing. She also said the rash thing is either eczema or psoriasis and gave me some cream samples to stick on it. If they clear up by my lab appt.-- great. Otherwise she suggested I go see a derm. Vet this weekend, allergist and lab next week, then sometime before June labs again for Dr. H. I have to make Paul go to his physical too. Poo.

Been keeping up and writing down my water -- 96 oz a day for the last two days.

Amy suggested I check for Speedo's at Sam's and they have oodles of colors and patterns... but not my size. Maybe later on in the summer... but def. a great buy if you have a Sam's card. Or at least a friend with a Sam's card.

• What: Water Aerobics


• Duration: 60 minutes

It happened again. I was so wiped after class that I went down for a nap and I never got up! I just woke up now because I didn't take my Glucophage. I discovered Mcd's in the fridge -- Paul had gone out to get himself food while I snored away. I ate one of the cheeseburgers and I think in a bit I'll have an apple. I'm just not in the mood for fries. Paul can eat them later if he wants them. He's teasing me because I was so grumpy when he tried to get me up. I didn't tell him that because I got up pastmidnight and ate, now I have to reschedule my cholesterol screen. I thought about just not eating but I'd be nutty if I had to miss dinner AND breakfast before my appointment. I'll just go for my PAP and rash and leave the cholesterol for another visit.

I have my car back so I went to class a bit early and did slow, easy laps for half an hour to relax while waiting for it to start. My left bicep was a bit sore so doing water aerobics today was a bit clonky. I felt uneven on all the strokes.

• What: weights, upper body
  
• Duration: 53 minutes
  
• Ave Heart Rate: 106
  
• Calories: 113
  

I was watching Singles again while doing weights on my Bowflex. What I really wanted to watch was the 4:50 from Paddington, a Miss Marple episode I'd been hankering to see but I can't find the DVD any where. While I was doing shoulder presses I noticed that the left pulley was being rough and on closer inspection the cable seemed to leave the pulley track. That was what was making it feel choppy. I called Bowflex up and their shipping my replacement pulley/cable today. I love good customer service! The workout was ok -- got hungry so quit before I got to triceps so sometime later I'll get to those. I have to eat the rest of my stinkin' cottage cheese fruit salad now.

I made it yesterday remembering how much Ney liked it in college and for the life of me I can't figure out why. I didn't dislike it, but I cetainly didn't LOVE it either. What did I do wrong? I had half a tub left and while looking for cottage cheese recipes I found some kind of jell-o cheese thing and since I had jell-o I tried it but it looked sooo disgusting I just threw it into the compost. I could not deal with eating that -- much worse than the fruit salad! I'll either have to keep looking for cottage cheese recipes or give up on it entirely. My mother never cooked with it so I'm at a loss for ideas. So much for that being my new food to try this week.

Blood pressure at grocery store was "optimal." I can't remember the exact numbers because after running around getting all the food into my cart, they slipped my mind. But I did remember they were both in the "optimal" ranges. Yay.

Brunch with my parents was nice -- but there was little wind later so we did more chatting than kite flying. Mom was very annoyed to discover that while running about with the kite she had some leakage and then we had to go into that whole stress incontinence thing and what the hell Kegels are. We also discovered that last week my father made my mother lay down on the bathroom floor so he could weigh her head because they'd gotten into an argument about how much a head would weigh. Dad was right and a human head weighs somewhere between 7-10 lbs. This strikes us as funny because it sounds like something Paul and I would do rather than my parents.

New week -- fresh, blank page on my desk calendar. I made an appointment on Wednesday for a check up with Sari to see why I've been feeling strange.

I felt bad Friday and today. Friday it was just this feeling of light-headed or dizziness and I asked Paul if we could skip the concert on Sat. He said that was fine and put me to bed where I had strange dreams. Today we were at the mall having lunch before going to get me new bras and I started feeling strange and wanted to go home. Paul was concerned and kept trying to get me to sit down and I kept insisiting I just wanted to get OUT! Out of the crowds, out of the noise, out, out! A lot of kids were making a racket and the music blaring from the stores wasn't helping. Totally skipped the bra thing but by the time I got to the car I thought I could deal with minor shopping at Target since that tends to be quieter. When I got there I took my blood pressure. 138/72 (high for me) and then my pulse was 111! No wonder I felt all strange. It's been so long since I've had a panic attack it wasn't until it was over that I realized that I had felt tense and all wound up. I came home and took a nap and woke up still tense and biting my tongue. Ow. I have no idea why I'm feeling this way -- it sucks and I want it to stop. :P

• What: Water Aerobics


• Duration: 60 minutes

I was sooo wiped after class. It's 1:36 AM and I just now got up after laying down when I got home! Paul made me get up to shower and to take my meds.

Don't get me wrong -- it was a good class. Claudia has been working us really well lately. I'm just really drained lately... either from allergies, gardening, hormones, or a developing cold. So tired. Back to sleep....

• What: Treadmill walk
  
• Duration: 20 minutes
  
• Distance: 1 mile
  
• Ave Speed: 2.5 mph
  
• Ave Heart Rate: 121
  
• Steps: 2165
  
• Calories: 98

Not a pleasant walk -- slept badly, ankles still ache, and I was hit my a sneezing fit that wouldn't quit. I really need to make an allergist appointment and get back on shots. The summer is going to suck for breathing if I don't. I don't know how I'm going to make it through class today... ugh. I took a peek at my Daily Biorhythm and they confirm no energy and a dull mind. I am just too full of snot to be perky.

Progress Prompts: What are your hobbies? Are they activity- or passivity-based? What were your hobbies as a kid?

As a kid? Reading, writing letters, and then b&w photography. And games, mainly cards. All pretty passive -- I wasn't especially interested in physical things or sports. Lived in my head a lot. As an adult? Reading is still number one, and I still like writing letters and photography but the games are now mainly computer games against Paul rather than gin rummy against my mother. But you can also add cooking and crochet as two more passive passtimes. And then fitness/exercise as a hobby -- I dabble in different things -- right now my biggest enthusiasms are water aerobics and presidential sports awards. I don't think people change a while lot as they age -- maybe evolve a bit, expand to include new things, but your basic tastes still stay the same.

Weigh-In Wednesday: Who do you look up to in regards to health and fitness issues?

Ugh. I can't answer this question if you expect me to list some celebrity type person. I am so out of touch with popular culture I can't think of many by name. I don't read many magazines, I hate my local paper, I never watch TV at home, and radio? Forget it!

Although if you are going to hold a gun to my head, I'm going to say the women pictured in the Title 9 Sports catalog. Apart form the fact that I love, love, love this catalog and the clothes in it, I like that they show pretty normal, active, healthy women as models. I think this is cool.

One more thing I forgot to add... Paul said to e-mail him my file and he'd print my latest mix cover at work on the color laser. Yay! :) He says I secretly like it but I maintain that I hate making music mixes and I only do it because even I get sick of listening to the same thing all the time. But I'll go for quite a long time before I do it. Just to avoid it. But once it's done and I have that new mix in my hand I am thrilled, thrilled, thrilled. I was hoping he'd take the hint and start making mixes for me but he's either on to my ulterior motives or he's being particularly dense. I can't tell.

Anyway, I learned something new so this was the first mix I made according to BPM rather than mood:

108 BPM = 3.0 MPH

114 BPM = 3.2 MPH

120 BPM = 3.4 MPH

124 BPM = 3.6 MPH

126 BPM = 3.7 MPH

130 BPM = 3.8 MPH

134 BPM = 4.0 MPH

136 BPM = 4.1 MPH

I new what BPMs were but I never knew what the BPM for certain speeds were and now that I've figured it out I feel so scientific. Whee!

• What: Water Aerobics


• Duration: 45 minutes

So yesterday was class. Holly and I were annoyed because even though we got to the pool on time, there was NO parking and we had to keep driving around until some tennis person finally left and we snagged the spot. By that time class had already started and we just jumped in and picked it up at rocking horses. I really hope they go to two classes soon. If not for the crowding, for the parking because a later class means that we won't be bumping into the tennis people and the kiddie lessons people. They seriously need to have more parking space. Claudia offered to do a double class but we didn't stay -- too damn hungry. We'll try to stay Thurs. for that if she does a double class again.

Now for something completely different...

Food log. In the past three weeks, what have I learned?

• My last thyroid check was perfect, I still have too much testosterone. I'll have to get the real numbers and start writing that down when I have doc. appts. Should also write down times I take meds... I'm positive I missed one or two bedtime ones because I was asleep.
  
• I have noticed more cramps and a return of cervical mucus, and possibly a shorter cycle this time around. Plus "high" on my fertility monitor and were hoping for a "peak" soon. Could this be more normal cycles? Go me!
  
• I have eaten 49,450 calories. An average of 2354 a day. According to this calorie need calculator, to lose 1 lb a week I'm to eat 2390 calories a day. Go me!
  
• I missed logging only one meal of one day -- the day we ate at the mall and I couldn't figure out what hummus and crackers and a turkey hovan was. When on earth will they update that site? But still...Go me!
  
• I have taken a prenatal every single day. Go me!
  
• I don't know if I'm drinking enough water because I never remember to write that down because it's zero calories so why bother? I have to get over this bad attitude toward water because I need to know how much I'm drinking.
  
• I have theoretically lost 8825 calories -- 2.5 lbs. In real life, maybe 1? Am I bloated? Retaining water? Who knows?
  
• I have exercised 828 minutes, or 14.8 hours. Which means I'm roughly 30% to my goal of 50 hrs for this next presidential sports award. Go me!
  
• I've done 11 miles in 7 walks, 7 water aerobics classes, 5 weight training sessions, and a lot of digging. Maybe this week I'll have some plants to show for the effort. Maybe the insects attacking my bachelor buttons will all die. Hooray! Go me!
  

So for the most part, a lot of "go me" and only 3 things I need to do something about. Track meds, water logging, and hopefully the water thing will improve the bloat/water retention thing. This is good news.

My eye is pink, my nose is runny and I cannot stop sneezing! I hate allergies! :P

• What: Treadmill walk
  
• Duration: 20 minutes
  
• Distance: 1 mile
  
• Ave Speed: 3.1mph
  
• Ave Heart Rate: 148
  
• Steps: 2252
  
• Calories: 117

Not a good walk -- my ankles hurt. Probably from all the shoveling this weekend. Cut it short and stretched instead. Going to skip weights too. My shoulder hurt and now that I've been thinking about it, my neck does if I tilt to one side. WTF!? How do you strain your neck digging? I can see the ankles from bring my foot down on the shovel to get it to sink in and I can see the shoulders from actually moving dirt from the hole to the side, but what did I do to my neck to make that ache? Happy note -- I get my plants after the 21st -- I got the order notice from Bluestone Perennials in my e-mail. Yaaaay!

• What: Treadmill walk
  
• Duration: 21 minutes
  
• Distance: 1.5 mile
  
• Ave Speed: 3.0 mph
  
• Ave Heart Rate: 128
  
• Steps: 3247
  
• Calories: 198

Quick walk tonight (Sat.) to try my new shoes and inserts. They're pretty comfortable and I love the wide width. Didn't keep it up for long because I want to wind down and go to sleep sometime soon. Stayed up way too late doing stuff... Tomorrow if I have time I need to do some calibration walks because right now my sportbrain is totally wacko. IN the meanwhile, waht do you think of kid fitness toys?

Woke up early this morning and it was nice and cool. So I went out and dug up almost the whole corner (9ft x 11 ft on the perpendicular sides) we need for the butterfly garden we've been planning. I have to wait until Paul wakes up so he can help me with some big ol' tree roots I just cannot get on my own and his opinion about double digging or not. If we double dig I want to spread out a layer of compost underneath the soil like we did in the other bed.

We have a huge camphor tree in the center of the yard and I swear it has roots creeping under the entire plot. I've yet to dig somewhere where I haven't needed Paul to come along eventually and whack up a monster root so it's out of my way. Sometimes even he gives up on it -- they're so gnarly.

It's a pleasant smell though -- when you dig and hit a camphor root. Kind of medicine-y but kind of spicy too.

Nrrrgh... I woke up because I remembered I didn't take my levoxyl before bed. So a quickie before I go back to dreamland....

When I was doing weights last night (friday) I felt really tired and sore so after I got through leg presses I decided to skip the rest of the workout. My muscles are sore still form previous workouts. I think tomorrow when we go shopping for Sarah's birthday present I'll pick up some epsom salts and just have a long soak.

[...]

I read some reviews for the bally's location I've been reconsidering and they've been bad -- apart from complaints about the cleanliness (nod), the social butterfly annoyances (nod) and the playful and unprofessional staff (nod), there was a sexual harassment complaint. (yikes!). Gross!

[...]

I've been having headhaces a lot lately and I'm not sure what it is from: lack of water? Maybe. Lack of food? I don't think so. My hair? This is the one I suspect. I have very thick, black hair and when it's gets too a certain length and weight, putting it into a ponytail is a constant tugging at my head. I need it thinned or trimmed.

[...]

Cruising through the Mothers In Motion catalog site was so much fun!

• What: Water Aerobics


• Duration: 60 minutes

Very tired. Must sleep. Will talk about class in next post. Sleeeeep. Noooooowwwww!

[later]

Man, Paul let me nap for hours and hours! I need to eat and then go back to bed.

The weather was pretty gloomy today and when Holly and I first got there, Claudia was bummed out about the drizzle and the wind. Vince said the pool was at 80 deg because it rained last night so even the water was cool. Two other people showed up and then we got ready for class. Claudia said we were nuts but once you are wet form the pool, who cares about drizzle? It's not like it's the first time we'd done it in the rain.

She worked us fast and hard to keep us warm and make up for the chill and I secretly wish we could do it that more often. Lots of intervals, lots of travel, lots of reps, few breaks. I could feel it burn and it felt sooo good! I got a compliment on good form out of Claudia today -- woo! So did Sandy. Half way through the class the drizzle stopped and the sun came out and I think everyone cheered up after that. Holly told me later I should have just ordered the rashguards I found online because it was def. that kind of weather today.

And when I got home, my new sneakers were there. At last! Hooray! I love, love, love the wide width! Now I just have to get inserts at Sports Authority to fit them.

Yargh! First Ziggy whacks his tail and hurts his toe, then Clyde runs crazy and pulls out a claw, then Iggy gets depressed over the long winter and needs labwork and X-rays to see if she needs more calcium... NOW Stump has run amok and injured her face and gotten abcesses! It's like when we first moved in here and everyone was bashing into things and jumping off things because they were in a new place and exploring -- and getting the sprains, cuts, and injuries that go with acrobatics. Grrr!

I was stunned to find this update on the no-show shoes this morning:

The U.S. Postal Service was electronically notified by the shipper or shipping partner on April 10, 2003 to expect your package for mailing. Status is updated every evening. Please check again later.

Granted, they told me it shipped last Friday, but dude! I can actually track it now on the post office site! Yay!

The other thing to get excited about is that after tonight's water aerobics class, I'll be at 26% of the way toward earning my next Presidential Sports award. Booyah!

[This is for Wednesday... I just didn't post til now]

• What: Treadmill walk
  
• Duration: 20 minutes
  
• Distance: 1 mile
  
• Ave Speed: 3.0 mph
  
• Ave Heart Rate: 142
  
• Steps: 2200
  
• Calories: 113

And...

• What: upper body weights
  
• Duration: 1 hr and 15 minutes
  
• Ave Heart Rate: 118
  
• Calories: 256

When the UPS truck drove up this evening I ran to the door hoping it was my new sneaks and I was disappointed. I'm glad to have my treadmill lubricant now, but it's not sneakers. I am soooo bloody annoyed! Why, why, why!? I want my bloody shoes!

Today's walk was short easy but not especially pleasant in my old sneaks... I quit after a mile because it was bothering my left foot -- hot foot is never pleasant. I NEED my shoes. If I don't have them by Friday I'm going to give up and just get a pair of 879's even though I really want the 878's.

Weight training was better... we were watching From Hell again. I got through my sets very thoroughly and I paid careful attention to what I was doing. My abs still are sore from Tuesday and they definitely let me know.

Weigh In Wedesday: Do you belong to any other groups/forums/clubs [aside from WiW] that help you on your way?

Heavens, yes. Because I have this need to read about people pursuing fitness daily and if I just subscribed to one group, I wouldn't be sure of getting my daily dose. I tend to be a lurker more than a participator right now though. I go through phases. The phase I'm going through right now is called, "Let's go, people! Write about your workouts! Where are you?" as I frantically read for "workout" updates. I like reading "workout" updates more than I like reading "dieting" updates. Of course, I also like reading "trying to conceive" updates. Esp. TTC with PCOS because that's what we're doing. Here's some I don't link to on the sidebar:

• Weigh Better Forum


• marathonwalkers


• Babydust_magic


• bodyforlifewomensclub2 (lots of photos)


• Eating_With_PCOS


• PCOS_CAN_lose_weight


• PCOS_Weightloss


• TCOYF

Progress Prompts: Have you ever experienced discrimination for being the size you are? Describe what happened.

Oh,dear...

I'm glad Patty found some use for my old "Topics Dujour" for Progress Prompts. And I'm honored she wanted to link to me to give me the credit for writing them. But it's always a strange feeling to be answering your own questions isn't it?

Size discrimination. I've had it on both ends, mainly from my family. I remember being fussed at as a child for being a scrawny, skinny little thing and then later for being fat. (more later)

From other people? I've been lucky. Apart from elementary school BS where I was teased for fatness, glasses, being smart, and bad coordination in PE, I've led a fairly peaceful life.

The kids grew up and got over themselves. I grew up and got past the chubby stage of childhood. I was a lean 145 lbs on a 5'8" body. It wasn't until 2nd year of college that I started tacking on more pounds, and not til 3rd year that it edged out from overweight into the land of obese. By that point I was doing the doctor parade trying to figure what was going on with the weight problem, the fatigue problem, the fugue states, the anxiety, the irregular cycles. (Side note: thank goodness for meds! I feel much saner, thank you!)

By that point Paul and I were well into living in sin and subsequently, marriage. So I don't have fat dating stories because I wasn't when we were dating. I don't even have fat married stories after getting fat because Paul never bothers me about my weight. My in-laws don't bother me either.

So I only have fat family stories -- but due to my temper, very few. My mother is quick to notice changes and admires/encourages if I let her but I really don't like her to do that. She used to make me crazy insisting I was fat in high school when I wasn't and until my doctor told her to leave me alone and that I was perfectly healthy, she wouldn't keep still. But I give her the credit for leaving me alone after that. Dad is the one who can drive me up walls commenting on my weight but if he starts that up I comment on his baldness and growing senility and he doesn't much like that. I also have been known to just say nothing and get back in my car and go home. I think he was shocked the first time I went to visit and kissed him hello and then turned right back around and left without a word because he started in on me. Mom called me up when I got home to ask me what happened and I told her quite calmly that I wasn't mad or upset, and I was fine. I just wasn't going to hang out at their house and be rude to when there were more fun things to be doing at my house. No brainer.

I guess either for good or for bad, I don't want my body to become public property. It's mine, and it's just not up for general discussion. It's solely for me and what I feel like doing with it. So no, never experienced any kind of discrimination for my body that I didn't or couldn't nip in the bud. Now for my age or gender....hoo boy. That's another story.

Adrith and Beth have started fundraising for NF and training for Boston -- go donate!

• What: Water Aerobics


• Duration: 60 minutes

We had a full class today -- 25 people showed up! Next week I think we split into two classes. I'll be very glad because there's hardly any room if 25 people show up. A lot of the rest of the the space is taken up by the kids' lessons. I had to move to the middle lane of the pool and work in deep water through the whole class. While it was a change of pace, it does make some of the moves a bit difficult. Claudia brought back the tricep dip and leg presses and a few others that Holly and I like a lot for this class so it was fun to get to do them again. I like tht Claudia mixes things up a lot -- it's never the exact same class twice.

• What: abs/yoga stretch (dvd)


• Duration: 30? minutes


• Average Heart Rate: n/a

Hooray! Maybe getting outbid for $32 was a good thing because I just picked up a new Speedo for $15. Hee hee! :) There, my bathing suit problem is solved for a little while. At least until the hawaii print one falls apart.

Today is water aerobics and since I never think the ab work we do there is very challenging, I threw on Karen Voight's Sleek Physique and did the abs/yoga stretch workout. Even though I did the whole workout I had distractions and I turned my HRM watch off somehow so I didn't get to see what my average heart rate was. First it was Gala walking the floor. It was quite alarming to turn while doing a stretch and come eye-to-eye with an iguana coming around the futon. He'd just eaten in the ktichen and was heading back to his basking spot when we encountered each other. He kind of hung around watching the TV but then I had to scoot him away off my yoga mat.

(The pets don't watch as much TV as they used to... I used to let them watch Nick Jr. at our first apartment. They like the colors on the cartoons. Lucy really got into Rugrats.)

A little bit after getting back into my stretch the phone rang and I had to stop and get it. It was Paul telling me he forgot to bring the keys to get into our friend Neil's house since we're pet sitting this week. I don't have my car so I couldn't take it to him and he'd already used up his lunch break so he's just going to have to get the keys here at home and then go back after work.

• What: Lower Body Weights


• Duration: 53 minutes


• Average Heart Rate: 120

Watched most of The Craft while doing weights. My quads are a little sore but nothing hamstring-wise. I probably need to change the weights there so it's more of a challenge. It felt easy.

Guess What I found? Non-ugly, rashguards for women in XL or XXL! Yay! Too late for me to buy and wear to water aerobics this winter, but next year I know where to look. All winter long I just could NOT find anything pretty.

Chickabiddy

SurfDiva

Now I have to find a bathing suit to be my back up since I've moved on to the hawaii one. The tie dye one is no longer stretchy -- it's time to retire it. I keep watching ebay for swimsuits but I keep getting outbid. Sigh.

No exercise over the weekend. Ankle feels better, but I'm warding off a cold. If I do anything at all tonght it will be yoga because my whole body feels tired, tired, tired. The weekend was quiet and we ran a lot of errands. I am getting back into food (hooray!) so I need to tidy up the fridge/pantry tonight so I can cook tomorrow for this week. I'm looking forward to next week for some reason...

I'm trying to coax Paul into going to Rock Springs in Kelly Park to either canoe or tube. I've wanted to go all winter but he said it'd be too cold and now that it is getting warmer I REALLY want to go. Holly said she's game for tubing. Aren't the pictures gorgeous?

Mmmm....Amy's cream of tomato soup! The only downer is that there's so much sodium in it but what do you expect from pre-made food? This is the first time I had this soup and as usual Amy's Kitchen stuff doesn't diappoint.

I read in the Lemon Slice that a lot of college campus stores sell Amy's now. God, would I have LOVED that in school! But then at the time we didn't have a union and we sure as heck didn't have a convinience store to shop at. And no name brand food places either. It was just generic food places run by the school with the typical burger/fries deal.

My overzealous and worried mother put me on the most expensive meal plan despite my protests. I'd rather she'd given me the couple grand she put on meal cards and I'd bought the food when I wanted it in cash. But noooo, I was stuck with a card and I hated campus food and since there was no way to buy food you could store, I was forced to eat it or buy endless drinks. So I bought a LOT of Clearly Canadian and soda cans stored it under my bed and I lost a lot of meal points for not using them up on time. Total rip off! My friend Andy was stuck in the same boat but he decided it was best to use his points up so he'd buy all these sandwiches and then drive downtown to give them to the homeless.

My former breakfast hang out was changed to a mini-grocery and another one appeared when the student union was finished long after I quit the dorms and was in my townhouse my last year of school.

I admit I'm stellar at food today but I'm a whole lot better than I used to be. Ugh. I don't even want to think about how many croissants Paul and I ate just because we were tired of cereal and endless scrambled eggs were worse than endless croissants!

Remember that annoying Bally's guy who called me up to try to get me to come back with their standard contract for new members and I gave him a hard time because what he had to offer simply didn't beat just joining a community center for a year or for that matter, the Bally's corp. rate for a year's membership, or the Bally's old member renewals?

Guess what I got in the mail? Yup, a Bally's letter.

Only now it's making me stop and think... the offer is pretty good. It boils down to the limitations of my original contract and then about $300 for the both of us for a year. No extra fussing for Paul's add-on. I'll have to talk to him about it and see what he thinks because if we're both wanting to do Disney it would be nice not to argue over the treadmill. But still, both of us joining the community center works out to $200 for a year. So if I go back to Bally's I want some more perks for that extra $100. I'm a hard sell, but I can be had. We'll see.

• What: Upper Body Weights


• Duration: 58 minutes


• Average Heart Rate: 117

Got most of upper weights out of the way early today. Skipped the abs and triceps though... I'll have to get to that sometime later. Too much house stuff to do first. My quads are really sore still but the ankle is doing fine now. Thank goodness it wasn't a real sprain!

• What: Water Aerobics


• Duration: 60 minutes

Back from class. I was really glad when I saw Vince start talking to Claudia about adding another class to the schedule because our class is too darn crowded. First there was a mom in the class who let her kid paddle around the the class space. That was annoying because the little girl got in my way. It's fine if her kid is there but hasn't the mom got the sense to keep her out of the class space? Why couldn't she paddle around in the kiddie side? Then there was an older couple taking the class together and he looked like he was getting over stroke or something. Plus they were new. So I felt bad when I kicked him accidentally doing rocking horses sideways. I had no idea he was behind me and I was trying not to hit the kid in front of me. When we have two classes like last summer, we can spread out more and not bash into one another and Claudia can do more complex moves. I like that our class welcome everyone of any ability and Claudia gives alternate instructions for people who need to take it easier but I really, really miss having the 2 sessions and it's about time they brought back the 2nd class time slot. We need it!

My legs are sore from lower body weights and after all the leg work Claudia made us do today they are doubly sore. When I got home I stepped wrong just as I walked into the house and almost sprained my ankle -- that's how unsteady I felt on my feet. Fortunately I didn't really sprain it -- just twisted it so it feels tender. So I'm not going to fight with my sneaks tonight and try to walk. No freakin' way. I just want to play computer games and veg out with Paul.

He was so cute and sympathetic. I was yelling because I fell and then yelling as I stumbled down the hall to find him because my foot hurt when I took a step. He said I woke him up with all my hollering and told me to get into bed with him despite the wet bathing suit and drippy clothes. Then he started kissing my ears and licking them until I forgot about my ankles. Mmmm... I love it when he feels cuddly.

I have a headache, my racerback (fav) bathing suit is dirty, I cannot find the hawaii print one, and there's no way I'm wearing a swim dress to water aerobics because it will flap about. That's only good for casual swim or the beach. So I'm reduced to wearing the colorblock print one and while it won't flap about, it's not my favorite because of the lack of support in the boob department. Argh!

Weigh-In Wednesday:


1. Do you eat for comfort sometimes?
Used to eat for comfort a lot when I was still in school and more stressed out. I was also an angrier person and I'd eat to bottle up a lot of feelings. Now when I have a binge thingie, I know I'm having it and I deliberately do it becaue I want to do it. Most of the time I avoid it but sometimes that urge to eat like a maniac is there and I indulge it not because I feel whacked out but because (strange as it is) it's kind of fun to eat a lot in one sitting and then sit on the couch with Paul and marvel over it. Esp. if we do it together.

The 5 course dinner over candles and fireworks at Arthur 27 sticks out from last summer because we still talk about it. We took 2 hours over it and groaned our way to hotel to lay down and complain that the food was just TOO good and we couldn't go swimming right away and that in future we had to show some restraint and limit it to (tada) 4 course dinners instead.

2. What triggers comfort eating for you?It used to be anger or stress. Now it's the fact that I feel like eating the binge item because I have not bought it in a long time. So I buy it and eat it and pig out and have a good time and then I leave that item alone for a long while. Or it's something like Arthur's -- a dinner date with Paul where we specifically go out to get snockered on good food.

3. What is your usual comfort food?Raisin bread. I just cannot buy that normally on a weekly basis... more like monthly or bimonthly. Cookies, but I just don't buy that at all unless it's one cookie. I refuse to bake them any more. Even for "just for fun" pig outs, I can't control it around cookies. And they pack a whole lot more calories than raisin bread.
I also used to eat a lot of M&Ms but I've gotten over the "plain kid's chocolates" thing and I can't afford to run out and binge on Godiva or specialty chocolates. It's make me seriously ill to boot. If we're talking about fancy dinner binges, Arthur's is tremendous, and Far Pavilion for the Indian is excellent. I'm looking for where we want to go next for our anniversary dinner this August and it's been fun reading food reviews.

Blah.... on phone with RRS and I hate being on hold. This music is annoying me. Where are my shoooooes?!

[...]

Well, at least it was fast. So the first pair was shipped last week and got lost. So a new pair's being shipped today with no shipping charge. The lady I talked to was very nice and apologetic. Jeez. I've ordered from RRS several time and this is the first time I've done a mail order and this is the first time I've had hassles getting my order. The customer service people are very nice but is there something the matter with the mail order people? NEVER will I do a mail order again... I'll stick to web orders. Jeez.

Now my right foot aches in the ball of the foot. There's only so far I could push my current sneaks and I think this is it. They are dead. Nnnrrrgh!

Nnnrgh. I have to get better sleep because lately I've been sleeping badly. Which totally screws me up for taking my Levoxyl and Glucophage at the right times. I've messed up 4 doses already and paid in a brownie freakout. Good mood though... looking forward to my walk today despite it being hill day.

[LATER]

• What: lower body weights
  
• Duration: 40 minutes
  
• Ave Heart Rate: 108
  
• Calories: 94

And....

• What: Treadmill walk
  
• Duration: 23 minutes
  
• Distance: 1 mile
  
• Ave Speed: 2.6 mph
  
• Ave Heart Rate: 124
  
• Steps: 2586
  
• Calories: 136

Lower body weights went well although I think I need to do abs again tomorrow. I didn't feel like I got enough of a challenge doing cable crunches. The part that was NOT good was the walk -- I had to cut it down to jsut one mile because my left sneaker was giving me hot foot so bad I couldn't stand it! :( I'm going to call RRS and see if I can get a tracking number on my new sneaks. I'm really getting desparate for them to be here. It was not a good walk... I had to keep stopping to fiddle with my shoe and now it's aching at the ball of my foot. It's jsut too worn down to be wearing any more. Argh!

• What: Water Aerobics


• Duration: 60 minutes

Went to class with Holly. Class went well although I took all the paddle moves at #2 setting rather than all the way clsoed because my arms were too sore to deal with fully closed resistance. I really felt it burning up my triceps. The kids are back since swim lessons started today so it was weird having the pool so busy. I really need a new bathing suit -- this one is dying on me.

Went to Boston Market for dinner and we talked about her crush, movies, and the Good Vibrations catalog and what toys are good and which ones aren't. Holly cracked me up when she complained that the last skin flick she saw was very disappointing because she didn't see a single penis anywhere.

• What: Treadmill walk
  
• Duration: 40 minutes
  
• Distance: 2 mile
  
• Ave Speed: 3.0 mph
  
• Ave Heart Rate: 131
  
• Steps: 4848
  
• Calories: 258

Missed walking yesterday so I did a quick walk today before I have to go to water aerobics class. The walk was easy but my upper body is still sore from weights. Esp. triceps -- my god! I made Paul swear to me that he'd remind me to get through weights once a week. Having to start over after a lapse is just too damn sore.

I was watching Mary Tyler Moore episodes while walking and some of them I remember liking and some of them I remember I wasn't all that crazy about. The best spin off MTM was probably Rhoda. I never fully got into Phyllis' or Lou Grant's spins. I know we laugh every time anyone at Mary's house drinks something out of the green glasses and goblets because at a flea market ages ago we bought the same 32 piece set of now-antique glassware.