It's Over

Christmas has come and gone and we're at Boxing Day.

We're staying in. The neighborhood is quiet. Julia seems perky and happy enough to play on her own and I'e done a little cleaning and some paperwork. Now I'm just hanging out, resting, thinking.

I wish we had more days like this at weekends, and if I want to make my wish come true, I have to make more of an effort to protect our family time like it is something sacred.

Simplicity isn't always simple

As New Year's inches along I've considered tangible resolutions like "Cut utility bill by 10%" or "Put 20% of income in savings."

While the utility bill goal doesn't affect anyone but us in our household, the other on puts a cramp on how we socialize with family and when and how we chose to entertain or gift.

How do I come out of the "voluntary simplicity closet" so people HEAR ME but don't take offense where none is meant?

I'm moving along a path that is very different from what I grew up with. I'm fortunate that my partner generally feels the same way about things even if he doesn't choose the exact same way of executing or practiving it. (ex: I went veg. and he did not).

I don't sense the same sort of support from family.

Hot Cocoa

Paul came to preschool on his lunch break for a bit. When Liz got back from her meeting I took Paul over to Barnes and Noble for hot cocoa and a treat. Carrot cake for me and a huge sugar cookie for him.

He laughed how it wasn't quite the same as lunch breaks from our early days. I told him we could move closer to work and revisit those lunch breaks from yesteryear. We wouldn't eat a thing. :)

It was nice to see him -- totally made my day.

Julia had fun playing at school. She was getting Elden and Cammie to pull her around in the wagon. She was also trying to feed Anne Marie.

Had an intersting converation with Lori towards the end of school. She combats the same things we do with the holidays -- excess gifts, the whoel circle time gift opening, unflexible grandparents, etc.

I'm glad to have a sympathetic ear but I'm sad that other young moms have to deal with that crap.

Savoring

Sunday morning.

In a little bit I have to round up the family and troop off to church.

Mom called three times since Friday and left me an email. Part of me is annoyed at the frequency and the other part of me thinks it is sweet that she's worried about Julia's pinkeye (cleared up already.)

We took Julia to see Mom B. yesterday and Paul helped Whit go get a Christmas tree. It is HUGE. We also took her to see the Christmas parade over there and it was cute. A small town parade, it was about an hour and low key. Just the right size and length for Julia. At first she was clutchign on to Paul's shirt tightly and staring with huge eyse and her mouth open in an "O." Occassionally she's chew on a finger, which I haven't seen her do in a long time. I suppose the police sirens made her feel anxious.

After a while though, she got into it and by the time it was over she was a pro at waving and shouting "May Chris-miss!" at the flaots going by.

Friday before we left for school she found a lizerd on the front stoop and announced, "lizard, Mommy! Lizard!" At school I found one on a branch so I carefully picked up the branch and gave it to Julia to hold. Anole-on-a-stick. Of course, she tried to grab him and he scampered off.

I keep tellgin myself to savor moments like that because she's growing like a weed and in the blink of an eye, these first discoveries will be over.

She says "Flowers" now instead of "flafla." I miss the flafla's.

[...]

Today's sermon was about upcoming holidays, the need, feed, and greed of them, and the 30 Acre Footprint. Basically to carefully consider the impact of consumerism, esp. at holiday time when shopping frenzies abound. I'm probably not doing it jsutice, but it was very interesting and I came away from it considering a "technology fast."

The other stuff along a voluntary simplicity line I've already been doing all year but I hadn't yet arrived at doing a technology fast and abstaining from using high-tech stuff and seeing what I can and can't really do without.

We had lunch at Sweet Tomatoes and then went to drumming circle. That was fun. I'm glad Paul enjoyed it even though he's feeling sick.

Got calls from some ofthe in-laws -- MIL, FIL and then I called SIL.

MIL is trying to work out Christmas Eve and she said Christmas should not be such a PITA. I agreed, but privately was thinking that the one who is making it be a PITA is her. She's hung up on this opening presents thing.

FIL called just to say hello as he does most weekends.

I called SIL because she emailed me and I didn't feel like typing at the time so I just called her up to answer her.

Grouchy

I'm all grouchy lately.

Basically because I'm knee deep in holiday season and once again... I'm not spending it how I want to be spending it.

Instea do fmakgin myself happy and letting everyone else go hang, I'm pleasing other peopel and putting my own needs on the back burner.

And that never goes down well.

Ho, ho, fucking ho. Bleah.

So I'm back at "girlwalks."

Hi.

Too tired to mess around with my server to see what the problem is with my primagravida blog so for now I'm back here.

In a little bit I'm off to bellydancing class.

Hi everyone --

Thanks again for all the kind wishes. I showed them all to Paul and he was very touched so many people were rooting for us both in real life and online. Today would have been Julia's due date. It seems like a good day to close "girlwalks" in her honor. While I'll be leaving these archives here, I'm moving on to other virtual spaces.

The baby's blog is going to be here:

Julia Chronicles

The Half marathon/postpartum fitness stuff is going to be here:

The Road to Orlando
primagravida

I still haven't decided about a more personal journal online... I'm worried about how much free time I'll have to keep up with things. But if I do open that up, I'll let ya know! For now I'm too busy falling in love with my daughter...

We are all home -- including baby Julia. Thanks everyone for your emails, calls, comments, and all around good wishes! :)

Mommy and Daddy are wiped out so no deep details tonight.

She was born 1/31 at 10:12 PM by emergency C-sect after 20? hours of labor.

I'd gotten to 100% effaced and 7 cm dilated when it was decided I was too tired, not progressing further, and the baby was in possible distress. However up to that point we did great with as natural a labor possible apart from being induced. While a bit disappointed I didn't get to deliver her how I wanted, I'm happy we gave it a good try. Paul was lovely and supportive the whole way through. Our doula was great.

Julia was 20.75 inches long and 9 lbs, 5 oz. at birth. She has a full head of hair and we've posted one photo:



We're off to bed.

Ok, this time it is 4 PM. So we're off again...

Thanks for the good luck wishes! But would you believe I'm still here?

Yesterday afternoon we get the car seat in the car, run by Target to get camera batteries, then pop in at Chick-Fil-A by Target for a quick dinner and then make it to hospital for our 6 PM appointment. We waited until 8:30 PM in the waiting room. We saw one of our ultrasound techs, a family I recognize by sight from all those NST's on Tuesdays, Dr. W. who did our triage visit that one time they thought my NST's were weird, and our old OB Dr. G. who wished us well. It was nice to see him -- I still hope for baby #2 we can stay with him at his office.

Anyway, a nurse came out eventually and told us she was very sorry but all the beds were full since they'd been having several emergencies. We already kind of had that feeling from the long wait and all the stuff that had gone down the hallway -- baby incubators, some women in gurney's, some babies in those clear bassinet boxes, etc. She told us she didn't expect any beds to clear up until midnight at the earliest, but more likely 5 AM. We're on the "on call" list but she also told me she's has people from 11 AM appointments who are still waiting. So it may not even be til after 5 AM. We opted to go back home and sleep. I'd rather hang out at my house waiting to be called than hang out in the hospital.

Although I am slightly peeved. If they had people from 11 AM still to be placed, why didn't they call me BEFORE my 6 PM appointment to tell me not to bother coming in until they called?

On the bright side, it gives baby a little more time to get her contractions ramped up. Paul timed them and I'm still 5 min apart but not super strong. I've had every sign labor is near except water breaking.

Crazy weekend.

It's weird thinking today might be my last day pregnant. It's also weird staring at my CD shelves wondering, "Ok, so what music would I want to labor to?" Today's going to be a weird day all over!

I slept ok once I finally fell asleep. I was aching all over -- feet, back, hands, shoulders, etc. Baby was moving around, contractiosn kept going, etc.

Now that I'm awake I feel all hyper and excited. So much like the anticipation for the Disney half marathon.

Sleepy, tired, but optimisitc -- contrax since 2 PM and they're not going away despite my trying to sleep or walk or whatever. Dull back ache too. Paul is trying to get some shut-eye and I want to also so we're rested. But I can't stop thinking about steak of all things. Lara had asked me this weekend if I had weird cravings and I had told her no. Not weird cravings like strange combinations of foods. Just single food items that get stuck in my head for yonks. I had a Snickers thing recently and then a mixed nuts things, and a milk thing. Now it's become a steak thing.

These stories were a fun read.

Up early -- can't sleep because I'm hungry but I have to wait an hour because I just took my thyroid medicine. Paul is taking tomorrow off but working part of the morning from home. I'm staying home today and trying to think labor vibes. I am going to try to tie up loose ends today like the post office, bills, etc. so I don't have to be thinking about it tomorrow or over the weekend.

Just got home. Went out this morning with my parents to Wal-mart because mom wanted to get coordinating fabric for her baby dress project and Dad wanted pony beads for his craft project. I just wanted to walk around NOT on the treadmill. Stopped at the farmer's market so Mom could get produce. Then we went to Babies 'R Us where I bought a crib mattress. Then to lunch at this Italian restaurant we hadn't tried yet. It seems to be very popular -- the whole place was packed with lunch people.

I'm contracting on and off, still loosing plug chunks, and still waiting, waiting, waiting.

Paul made me laugh last night when he told me he was going to give me "frosty goblins" if I wasn't careful.

Me: What are "frosty goblins?"

Paul: That stuff I can't remember how to say right... "prostglands?"

Me: Ohhhh... you mean "prostaglandins."

(The OB mentioned that they'd start me with prostaglandin gel or similar to help ripen my cervix and the move to Pitocin when appropriate when we go to be induced Thurs. Our doula suggested lots of sex between here and Thurs. on the off chance it helps get it going quicker since semen contains prostaglandins too.)

Paul: Yeah, that. But it sounds much cuter as "frosty goblins," doesn't it?

Me: Weirdo!

Updated sonogram pix.

Not very good face pictures since I'm at -2 station and her head is getting lower into my pelvis but the tech did her best to get us both a b&w and a 3D. She's still a girl too.

Left the house at 7, back at noon. I think we spend 75% of the time waiting in the waiting room. After my postpartum visit, I won't have to go back to this office and I can go back to our family practice. Thank goodness. It's a shame because I like the Dr's, I just hate their administration. Too disorganized.

Anyway, the u/s was fine and we saw a healthy baby. She's 9 lbs or 9 and 2 oz though so after the u/s we saw a midwife. It happened that Dr. K. showed up so we may as well have scheduled with her but who knew we'd be waiting so long?

I'm 60% effaced, 2 cm dilated and I'm scheduled for induction but also pre-approved for emergency c-section onthe off chance something happens.

So baby has a few more days to come on her own if she's coming early. We're packed and ready to go. The only thing left is to stick the car seat in the car.

Friends are coming over in a bit to visit. So a quick entry while we wait for them to arrive.

I slept iffy last night -- contractions and back cramps had me cozying up to my heat pad again. Plus a little spotting. I had that once before at the OB's office and she said it's probably from dilating. It really wasn't much -- just enough to notice it on toilet paper. Baby is rolling around, kicking, squiggling and so on. The part that bothers me most is my shoulders and upper back. I must be scrunching up when I contract or something.

Tomorrow is our u/s appointment and midwife appt. I'm feeling a bit anxious about it. Part of me is excited because we get another peek at baby. The other part of me is a little worried that she's getting too big and I'll be talking induction for later tomorrow or the next day. Part of me is hoping I get to wait it out. Part of me wishes she'd GET out by any means so maybe my back will be happier. It's very weird.

Slept so-so last night. When I was actually sleeping it was nice, deep sleep. The rest of the time I was being smooshed to death by baby. Def. lower, def. heavy down low in my womb, def. a pain to roll over, get up, get around.

We were going to leave off doing groceries til tonight after we cleaned up some of the house but when I got up I told Paul I had a feeling it would be better if we did it now at lunch time. He's sick too and he likes Advil more than Tylenol so I want to make sure he has it.

Mom B. said she'd call when they all got to WV later today. The viewing is tomorrow and the funeral on Monday.

6:39 PM
Got up from nap. Going to tidy the house in a bit and sort out the shopping. We got denim tab top curtain at Bed, Bath and Beyond for our bedroom to block out the street lamp now that the bed is under the side window. The blinds get a lot but light still creeps in through the cracks of the slats and keeps us awake.

Then Target where we spent our two baby shower gift cards. We got a curtain rod, crib sheets, blankets, a duck rattle, a spanish nursery song book, a little outfit for our great niece's birthday later in the month, a new shower curtain, a lamp for the nursery that's got a wooden base and a white shade with flowers embroidered on it, and I'm sure more for the house but I can't recall what. The gift cards covered half the bill so that was good. Now I don't have to worry about losing them before I can spend them.

Off to the bank to deposit a check, then Chili's for lunch. Then the grocery store to get mini groceries (milk, cereal, drinks) and home again, home again, jiggety jig.

I actually said that in the car on the way home and Paul and I had some puzzlement over the lyrics to that because he said it was "hog" and "jog" and not "pig" and "jig." I said there was more than one verse and "pig" came first and then the "hog" and then a "plump bun" when the "marketing's done." He said he never heard of other verses and stuck to the "hog."

I found a version online but neither of us knew it this way with a "dog" and "a sweet bun."

To Market [chant]

To the market, to the market, to buy a fat pig.
Home again, home again, jiggety jig.

To the market, to the market, to buy a fat dog.
Home again, home again, jiggety jog.

To the market, to the market, to buy a sweet bun.
Home again, home again, the market was fun.

At any rate, there's definitely a pig because all the other versions had the "pig" even if the "hog" and the type of "bun" might be different. So there. We jiggety jigged home!

Just got home from NST -- passed it. Got the funeral home address and sent a yellow arrangement of flowers as tribute form me and Paul after I remember how much Mawmaw liked the yellow mums we'd given her at the Strawberry Festival that one year as a surprise.

[later]

Wrote an entry about starting to decorate the baby's room in the baby blog.

Off to bed but before I go... newest belly photo up on the belly page. Paul said I'm dropping... even I can see it going looking downward now.